Wandering Soul - Inquiries into body, mind, and soul

New Year Resolutions 2019

Wed, 02 Jan 2019 00:00:00 +0000

This year I really want to focus on deepening my practice of:

Mindfulness
Relaxation
Loving-kindness meditation

Highlights of 2018

Wed, 02 Jan 2019 00:00:00 +0000

The main thing I have learned in 2018

Many “attributes” and abilities are in fact skills, can be learned and do improve with practice - strength, relaxation, happiness, gratitude, forgiveness, … .

Highlights of the year

In now particular order:

Science of Happiness - a free online course by UC Berkeley on happiness - what is it, what makes (or doesn’t) us happy, what is happening on the biological and physiological level, comparison to other species, primates and others. There are also weekly “happiness practices” you can try to find out whether they contribute to your wellbeing. It was extremely interesting and inspiring. One of the key facts is that about 50% of our happiness is given genetically, only 10% depends on our circumstances (wealth, fame, stuff, …), and full 40% is determined by our mind, how we think and feel about what is happening - which is something we can develop. It contributed greatly to my decision to focus on mindfulness and loving-kindness meditation (which are practices that I find attractive). I will write more about the course later.

Online course on relaxation for martial arts and other activities (the page is work in progress, just read it). The goal is to be able to relax within seconds, and to be as relaxed as possible in movement. I know practice various long and short relaxation routines regularly (remember, relaxation is a skill so repetition is key) and “mini-relaxations” repeatedly throughout the day. It inspired me to experiment with punching with my whole body, feeling the contact from fist to toes, not just in the arm, which turned out to be quite an interesting quest.

Zen Body-Being workshop with Peter Ralston. I have read the book before so there wasn’t much new but it is a very different experience to practice, and to do so in a group.

Mental rehearsal I have been inspired by Loren Christensen’s Mental Rehearsal For Warriors and have practiced daily for a few months, though I have focused on the relaxation and partly autosuggestion parts. This contributed greatly to me feeling good so I really enjoyed it. I hope to do more of the mental rehearsal itself this year. This too is a skill and improves with practice. It is essentially about entering a meditative state when you are more open and then to practice something - a technique, a situation, … - in your mind, with as vivid imagination and inclusion of all senses as possible. According to some research, mixing mental and physical training is more effective than just physical training.

Strength is a skill - I have read The Naked Warrior by Pavel Tsatsouline, which is a (max) strength training program based on two simple exercises (1-hand push up, 1-leg squat), generating maximal tension, and doing max 5 repetitions but multiple times during the day. Here again the thesis is that strength is a skill. I have applied it far less rigorously than I should but even so I have made nice progress.

Periodization - themed periods in training. I have started with 2-3 week focuses in my workouts, inspired by the concept of periodization (though I am yet to read book). The human brain presumably craves variation and providing it makes the training more effective. So far I have focused on whole-body punching (i.e. correct body mechanics), footwork using agility ladder drills, using a rubber band to find deficiencies in the body mechanics of my punches.

Basic Self-Defense I have started training Wim Demeere’s Basic Self-Defence. I like that it prepares for possible starting points of a fight including an ambush, incorporation of a trained flinch response, few but versatile techniques, and how you train the key movements from start, again and again to ingrain them.

Martial arts This year I have done little Muay Thai / MMA training due to the lack of time. I have (again) learned that I have a lot to improve :)

Status update 2018/11

Sat, 24 Nov 2018 00:00:00 +0000

What am I up to these days? In September, I started on two journeys that have influenced me a lot. The first is an online course in relaxation aimed at martial artists, the second are two online courses on happiness by UC Berkeley - Science of Happiness and The Foundations of Happiness at Work. I am going to see the impact of these for a while to come. The key learning is perhaps that happiness, gratitude, mindfulness, relaxation, … - this are all skills that can be improved and that do improve with practice. I now practice various 5-20 min relaxation techniques once a day and try to inject many “mini-relaxations” of few sec - 1 min throughout the day to make relaxation a habit. I have also started to practice mindfulness regularly, through the Waking Up app/program, with its 10 min daily meditations and “mindfulness” moments when preparing a drink and before a meal. With frequent practice, everything becomes easier. I have been also inspired to dive into the loving-kindness meditation but have yet to fit it into my day.

I am slowly getting back to the Alexander technique after a few months break. A milestone this year is that I started (occasionally) to feel the tension under my jaw, as I pull my head down. I cannot do anything about it yet but it is still an important progress.

Since before the summer, I also work on the Naked Warrior strength training, based on simple body-weight exercises (1-hand push-up, 1-leg squat) and few, 3-5 reps multiple times a day, with focus on max strength. Its key premise is that strength too is a skill. So far it seems to work, despite my lousy implementation.

I have learned a little about Wim Hoff’s method and, though not applying it yet, I got inspired to switch to cold water at the end of a shower for 10 sec (for now) to boost my immunity.

Last but not least, I started slowly reading Peter Ralston’s Book of Not Knowing. Deep, transformational stuff (and a lot of work).

Training

I have done little Muay Thai lately, due to time. I have introduced “focus periods” of few weeks into my training, currently focusing on footwork with agility ladder drills and, occasionally, working on the body mechanics of my punches with the help of resistance from a rubber band (see Wim’s How to Increase Your Punching Power in Five Minutes). Before that, I have been inspired by the relaxation course to practice striking so that I would feel the whole body being involved in the impact, not just the arm, which makes it easier to work on the total body mechanics of the strike.

I have also watched Wim’s Basic Self-Defense part 1 (an awesome, simple SD for an average person and an average violent encounter) and made its warmup a part of my routine. I am still looking for a partner to practice the techniques.

All Is Not One (Martial Arts, Meditation, Truth)

Tue, 03 Jul 2018 00:00:00 +0000

Peter Ralston recently claimed an interesting thing. My memory is bad so let me very freely paraphrase him:

All is not one. Martial arts, body-being work, meditation, contemplating the truth do not all lead to the same place. You practice body-being to improve your skill and meditation to improve your well-being. Nothing against that, but it is not the truth. Contemplation leads to the direct consciousness of a truth.

As mentioned, I far from remember his exact words, so this is my (mis)interpretation but the main message was clear: you cannot fight, eat, or body-be your way to enlightenment. To achieve an enlightenment experience - the direct consciousness of the truth of something (who am I, life, other, …), you have to deeply contemplate a suitable question. On the other hand, he also said that a physical practice is useful for grounding in reality. With contemplation alone, it is easy to end up in a fantasy world, while a physical practice (martial arts or another) provides hard feedback.

Importance of breath for martial arts

Mon, 02 Apr 2018 00:00:00 +0000

I have recently read two articles that reminded me how important breathing is for an optimal athletic performance and provided some new insights.

the same muscles that we use for breathing also stabilise the core and rotate the trunk
breathing muscles and the heart will take priority for oxygenated blood over limb muscles so if there is a shortage, the rest of the body and limbs will be starved, causing premature fatigue; training muscle training can improve performance by 15% in runners
breathe less for greater performance and health - hypoxia (induced through breath holding and voluntarily reduced breathing - hypoventilation) improves oxygen supply of tissues, oxygen utilization by cells, aerobic metabolism. Source: [1.]

So it is important to train, synchronise, and optimise movement with breathing. And it also makes sense to train and strengthen the inspiratory muscles so that they do not become too stressed so easily.

From Breathe Strong:

Breathing is a process that requires the coordinated contraction and relaxation of many muscles. Research has now shown that the work done by these muscles during exercise is substantial, so their training status has a profound influence upon exercise performance. There is now ample research evidence that performance can be improved by increasing the strength, power and endurance of the inspiratory muscles through specific training.

[…] after inspiratory muscle training, they [athletes] feel that they are working less hard, and their performance improves.

Resources:

Info page for the Second Wind workshop on relaxatin and Russion breathing
Forbes: Proper Breathing Can Improve Sports Performance By 15 Percent
Breathe Strong - webpage for the book Breathe Strong Perform Better

Training

Be able to trigger or delay adrenal response. Trigger relaxation response. Mentail rehearsal.

Science

tabata. HIIT, anti-glycolic
relaxation speed, training => medium x top athletes https://www.strongfirst.com/special-events/second-wind-pavel/

Taxonomy of meditation

Sat, 03 Mar 2018 00:00:00 +0000

There are many kinds of meditation, with different goals and with vastly varying methods. So for scientists to be able to speak about meditation in any meaningful way, they need a way of categorising them, they need a taxonomy. And it is useful also for us practitioners, to get an overview of the field and to be able to speak to each other more clearly.

Beware that there are many ways to define meditation and many ways to categorise it, this is just one of them. And as goes the saying, every model is wrong but some are useful.

And this is exactly what Jon Nash and Andrew Newberg have created in their Toward a unifying taxonomy and definition for meditation. You can read their paper or you can listen to Nash speaking about this on the Scholar Warrior podcast. If you are short on time, start at 1:12 where he applies the taxonomy to categorise three popular, different meditation methods.

The main differentiator is the target changed state of mind, which might be cognitive, affectual, or null (i.e. neither of the two; the state of emptiness).

First: Transcendental Meditation is a null directed method. You repeat a sound, a mantra, and try being aware of it - until, eventually, all the other contents of the mind have disappeared. (But you don’t concentrate on the mantra, which would lead to the cognitive state of one-pointedness, on an exclusive concentration on single entity.)

Second: Zen koan meditation is a cognitive directed method that aims to gain an insight into the nature of reality (according to Buddha: suffering, impermanence, non-self, i.e. you can find no center of ego, it has no real existence). Also Vypassana is a cognitive directed method.

Third: Tibetan loving kindness meditation is an affective directed method, you grow the feeling of compassion and loving kindness, until, after many stages, you are totally immersed in it. The method is also (self)guided, you follow a narrative (until it too disappears in the last stage).

Status update - timing, mental rehearsal, Ram Dass & more

Tue, 31 Oct 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Speed Training

I have recently read the awesome Timing in the Fighting Arts by Loren Christensen. There is plenty of exercises for various aspects of speed. It recommends three things you can do now to increase your effective speed significantly: use deception (smart!), be relaxed, use “independent arm movement” (the arm starting first, hitting as your foot lands). The thing that surprised me most was the author’s belief that at least 50% of his speed improvement came not from physical exercises but from mental work - namely positive autosuggestion in deep relaxation (“I am fast. And I am getting faster. My hands are like lightning …”) and constantly thinking about speed. I firmly believe in the inseparability of the physical and mental so I believe him.

There are multiple effects of this book. The main one is that I have decided to practice relaxation diligently until the year’s end - using various meditation techniques, thinking about it frequently, practicing keeping my awareness on relaxation and learning to relax constantly. (Which is perfectly aligned with the Zen Body-Being practice.) Inspired by my study of the Alexander Technique, I am also trying to include my back and neck in my constant awareness. (I am falling short quite a lot.)

I have also added some basic, speed-related conditioning exercises to my practice (strengthening abdominal muscles, practicing hip rotation speed).

Mental Rehearsal

Another inspiring book of Loren’s I am reading is Mental Rehearsal For Warriors. It introduces the power of “sweat-less practice,” i.e. practicing in one’s mind, visualizing techniques etc. using all five senses. An important part of that is inducing a state of deep relaxation so that the mind is receptive to the mental rehearsal. Therefore it also teaches quite a few various meditation techniques (that take from 1 to 20 minutes). I now practice these and mental rehearsal daily. The more you do it, the more effective it becomes. My training time is limited so why not enhance it with mental rehearsal?

My current training routine

My current routine, which I get to do few times a week when lucky, takes about 50 minutes:

Speed hip turns (from Speed Training)
Alternating Jump Lunge, 60 reps
Russian Twist with a 10kg weight - 3-4 sets of 12
Curls with a 10kg wight - same as above
Pushups, three sets (1st on fists or fingers, 2nd with one leg up, 3rd with palms far apart)
Rolling Thunder Hands with 1-2 kg dumbbells, circling left, right, and straight punches, both legs - i.e. 6 sets of 60-80; then a few ones with a diagonal step forward or back (deflect + punch). Trying to push the speed while keeping a good technique.
If extra time, practicing single techniques in front of the mirror
Wim Demeere’s heavy bag routine or a free-form punching
Roundhouse kicks to the bag
5 min of a basic I Liq Chuan pushing exercise

Ram Dass: Witness consciousness and karma yoga

Another book that has given me great inspiration is Ram Dass’ Polishing the Mirror: How to Live from Your Spiritual Heart. The main two things I want to make part of my daily living are witness consciousness and karma yoga.

Witness consciousness is a neutral, non-judging awareness of one’s feelings and thoughts. It is a new level of presence and awareness - not just being 100% in what I am feeling, thinking, and doing, but being at the same time aware of it, without judging it. This opens up for eventually being able to be less controlled by my emotions and mind and for more compassion toward myself and others, and for being able to reflect on myself, to free myself from attachment.

We shift from being the protagonist of our personal narrative, captivated by the tumult of our thoughts and experiences, to seeing those thoughts and experiences as phenomena reflected in the calm mirror of our inner being. From being the star of our own show, we become an affectionate observer of the play.

Karma yoga, in this context, means offering everything I do as a service to God / global consciousness / … . This is the first time I have read an explanation I can relate to.

To use your daily life and work as a conscious spiritual path means relinquishing your attachment to the fruits of the actions, to how they come out. Instead of doing it for a reward or a result, you do your work as an offering, out of love for God. Through love for God, your work becomes an expression of devotion, of bhakti. Like Hanuman, you serve others as a way of honoring God. It’s an attitude you develop, an attitude of offering. Every action you perform, you offer as selfless service, Offering your work and all your actions to God takes daily life out of the realm of ego and into the higher Self.

Admittedly, I am at the very beginning and struggling with both. Let’s see in a year… .

Muay Thai: Few months later

I have recently published Muay Thai: 8 months later, which still captures the core of my development and focus areas.

Alexander Technique

I have got some Alexander Technique teacher training, practicing “hands on” with my teacher and fellow apprentices. It is a real challenge to focus on my instructions (releasing my head, shoulders, …) and non-doing mindset while actually doing something and trying to be aware of the student. So it is a valuable thing to try. I am told my hands are good (when I remember not to stress up :-)) but it might take months or years before I will be able to perceive through them what is happening in the student’s body (and mind). I have practiced basic activities, such as helping the student into and from a chair, which is more difficult then one would expect. I absolutely need more practice!

Regarding my own self-discovery, I believe I can feel my back and neck more, as well as my troubled, misplaced shoulder. I still get frustrated by feeling tension yet not being able to get rid of it. But it has reportedly improved a lot since we started.

What I have learned at the year-long Zen Body-Being e-course

Sat, 02 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

I have written before about the Zen Body-Being book by Peter Ralston. Soon after completing the book, I have started the year-long The Principles of an Effortlessly Effective Body-Being e-course as a guidance in my studies of the principles introduced in the book. So how was it?

The course was valuable for me for two reasons. First, I find it easier to practice when I get regular, focused tasks. Second, it provided me with a catalogue of varied exercises for different aspects of body-being (BB) so that I can pick what suits me at a given time and based on my focus. And I can use it as a roadmap, assuming that the aspects of BB have been presented in that particular order (at least partly) because they are easier to learn that way, and with later exercises building upon previous ones.

I believe I have made a few tiny steps in developing some of the aspects of BB (and none in other ones), first steps on a very long journey. I feel my body slightly more (though it is a very, very far cry from feeling every square centimeter), I feel a better contact with the ground and the space underground and all the three dimensions, my body and especially arms can be more relaxed. But feeling all that requires that I really focus on it, while normally I am disconnected from this awareness. So I want to work on making it more an integral part of everything I do (or, for starters, at least on remembering to feel it every now and then) so that the increased awareness becomes eventually a natural part of me.

I find the “feeling awareness extension” exercise surprisingly simple (though perhaps I am just deceiving myself :)) but most of the exercise are pretty challenging to feel at least on an elementary level, and quite a few escape me completely (such as being “freely balanced”). I plan to pick a few of the simpler exercises that I can do (somewhat) and practice them for weeks or months, varying or alternating them, or some of them, as necessary to keep the mind interested. I prefer those that I can include in other activities such as walking, at it is easier to fit them into the day. But I want to be coming eventually back to all the exercises. I assume I have enough to do for the rest of my life :-)

To sum it up, the course has been a much needed kick-off on the path to the Cheng Hsin body-being and a useful tool and resource for many years to come. I hope I will have the opportunity to enrich my practice with one of Ralston’s workshops eventually.

Note: I Liq Chuan seems as a very good way to practice the body-being principles.

Muay Thai: 8 months later

Sat, 02 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Late last year I have started learning Thai boxing, inspired by Wim Demeere’s Boxing for self-defense, is it effective? and wanting to get a real fighting experience. I wanted to get down to the basics, no fancy techniques, just learn good punching, kicking, and footwork, timing, angle, distancing. I have had about 20 normal lessons and 10 (extremely useful) private lessons.

It has given me all that I expected, though I am not there just yet. I can punch and kick much better, hold my guard up (most of the time), move somewhat, protect myself to some extent, and handle some beating. I am far from being able to use the full force of my body, especially in kicks. Balance is an issue, especially when I move while performing multiple techniques. I know I have to work on my footwork (precision, speed, versatility), on my defense, on combining multiple attacks, and on tactical thinking (using footwork, feints, and previous attacks to set up the next one(s)).

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spar with two rather experienced Thai boxers for a few rounds. I got a solid beating, though they were very gentle with me. It was a great learning experience. Some noteworthy points:

Mindset is something I need to work on, namely on my fear and intent. Once you have been hit few times and know the opponent is better, the fear of pain affects you. You fear to start an attack (expecting it to be stopped and followed by a punishing counterattack), you fear getting too close by following up with another attack. Once my attack is stopped, I fear the counteraction and want to get out. Instead, I should honor the Tai Chi adage “technique broken, intent unbroken” and continue with other attacks, giving the partner no time to react. It is even worse when I get into an inferior position and come under an overwhelming barrage of attacks. I have then the tendency to collapse my defenses, to turn away and try to get out. Instead, I should either attack into the attack, or at least do a proper, controlled retreat. And it works - not thinking about pain, about the fear, switching on an aggressive mode. I just need to work on this more. Wim has a great post about conquering the fear of fighting with good tips and useful resources. Some of the experiences he had are a copy of mine (and everybody else’s, I imagine). And his other post, How to Be More Aggressive in Sparring is a gold mine of good advice.

Both my opponents used kicks quite a lot, more than I expected. Especially one of them was able to kick on one side and immediately on the other, targeting equally body and legs. His well-timed push kick has efficiently stopped my attack a few times. And his kicks were powerful, though they did not harm me much, rather made me wary. I wonder how much stronger could he actually kick if he wanted to. I imagine it could be quite bad for me. Even the cumulative effects of his leg kicks as they were would surely slow me down soon. And a well-placed rib kick by the other one has stunned me somewhat, giving him very good opening, if he wanted to finish the fight quickly. I am glad they respected my limited skilled and avoided head kicks, though I anyway run into one lower kick with my face. Not recommended.

I have realized that I can notice openings and have an idea how to use them, but it comes too late. I need to train myself to skip the cognitive processes and connect the perception of an opening right to an appropriate reaction. That will take some training.

Another thing I need to work out is finding ways of engaging the partner (relatively) safely, without exposing myself immediately for a counterattack. Right now I feel that when I need to close the gap to attack, the other guy has enough time to see what is coming, prepare to evade or block it, and punch me in exchange. (Though I have also seen that following immediately with other attacks may work.) I need to become conscious of his body movement, so that I can time my approach and attack into the least convenient time and spot for him. I also need to perfect my footwork so that I land with a perfect balance, ready for anything, and practice serious but not over-committed attacks. And I need to learn to feint with my attacks and body movement. (I imagine that the highly recommended The Liar The Cheat and The Thief: Deception and the Art of Sword Play by Maija Soderholm would be very useful here; I am not fencing but the lessons are universal and timeless.)

And the last one - I have noticed that the exchanges were relatively short, the fighters disengaging regularly. I guess it is an artifact of sparring and the limited space of a ring. I don’t think it works like that in a self-defense situation. So that is something to “train against”.

I Liq Chuan - the martial art of awareness - as impressive as it promised

Sat, 02 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

This week I have finally had the opportunity to try out I Liq Chuan and it was just as promising as it seemed to. I have been really impressed by the body-awareness, balance, and skill of the practitioners. Not only where they able to easily push or pull me out of balance, but - more importantly - showed me and enabled me to feel how a small change may make a big difference. I have been introduced into the 13 structural points, from weight approximately on the middle of the feet (actually, there should be equal weight on the 5 fingers, heel, and other 3 point), knee pointing with (and well connected to) the toes, all the way up through the hips etc. up to the shoulders resting freely on the torso and the “suspended” crown of the head. We discussed the concept of “yin” muscles on the front of the body, bottom of the arms, and inside of the legs, that contract towards the center of the body, and “yang” muscles (back, upside of arms, outside of legs) that expand from the center (or rather it “back side”). Feeling all the yin muscles from my stretching (“projecting”) hand all the way down to the feet, with the movement itself starting in the center but immediately manifested in this fingers, having this conscious connection of all the muscles and joints involved, proved to be a great learning experience, though of course very challenging. I have a long way to go. And as you understand (or rather manage to “make real for yourself”, or experience) something, you always discover there is a deeper level and other factors to take into account. So yin and yang muscles are not separate, in all movement you need to be aware of both, even if focusing more on one of them, and there needs to by a dynamic balance between them. We explored different types (qualities?) of force and movement in all three dimensions. It is overwhelming to try feeling connection all way from fingers to the ground (not skipping anything), apply all the 13 points, be aware of what muscle groups work in which movement and the edges where this switches over, etc.

This only touches a part of what we went through and what I have been able to some extent experience. And it is just a tiny part of what I Liq Chuan has to offer (and certainly quite inaccurate as well).

Many of the principles that my - very experienced - Aikido teacher mentions during his lessons are studied here on their own, with deep understanding and seemingly simple yet very profound exercises aimed at experiencing them as directly as possible. So I would certainly see it as beneficial to take break from Aikido and the distracting techniques, and to focus on studying - and, much more importantly, experiencing - the principles themselves so that I could eventually come back and practice Aikido of a much higher quality.

Interestingly, one of the practitioners, a former boxer, mentioned that the practice of I Liq Chuan has visibly improved his sparring skills, even though he has done little boxing training lately. I can imagine how the improved acute awareness of balance (in movement!), the whole-body connection and deep understanding of force could do that. Another interesting remark was that at first, you have to be very conscious and intent on practicing the awareness of the structural points and principles, but eventually, when you experience them, you develop “feeling” for them. Then you can just follow the feeling, without checking the points themselves. It is also interesting that as you become aware of some of this points in yourself, you reportedly also become aware of their presence - or absence - in others, making it easier to take their balance.

I would love to practice this impressive art with these evidently keen and capable practitioners, but cannot at this point. However I hope I will be able to make some progress by practicing the few basic exercises I have learned on my own and by bringing the same awareness to my other daily activities. The teaching materials could be better, but it is still much better than being kicked into the bone, as my dear grandfather used to say.